Episode 11: Big Data Analytics He Calls Dimwits

Bid Data AnalyticsHi Buckeroos, Pancho here on day 11 of ranch doggin’. I thought it was time to slow down from all the adventurin’, take in the beauty of country, smell the roses and so on. So as I was just reflectin’ this morning, sitting by a cow pie, I came across the most beautiful green and purple bug. I mean that thing was irresdecent and looked like a piece of NY hipster jewelry.

So I ate it.

In the off season, when I’m not ranch doggin’, I watch cooking and wine shows befitting my sophicated (Sophi is a friend of mine) breeding. Any way, the green purple bug had a crisp finish, not unlike early season Junebug, earthy tones and hints of fermented alfalfa.

You must surely be aware that I carry a highly calibrated gas chromatograph in my nose, hooked up to a big data analytics system. The ranch foreman has named the system Dimwits. Anyway I have deployed said high powered systems to analyze the rug at the ranch house. And fellers, let me tell ya – that ole rug has seen much more serious action than flavored cardboard they try to pass off as dog food and green purple bug.

I was on the ranch dog union mandated break this morning, laying on the rug, and breakfast and the green purple bug decided it was time to make a second appearance on said rug. So on the very day I was planning to spend reflectin’, all my reflectin’ has been exciled to the outside. All I can say is, there is a lot of injustice on this ranch. You’ll be hearing from me again.

Your Pal, Pancho.
#PanchoRanchPug

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